Friday, May 29, 2009

Why Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Sucks

Many of my fellow Trekkies think Wrath of Khan is the best Star Trek movie ever made. Well, they're wrong and here's why:

  1. Why are Klingons in the Neutral Zone? It was established that it was a border with the Romulans on the original series.

  2. How does Khan know about Chekov? Chekov didn't appear until Season 2; Khan appeared in Season 1.

  3. Starfleet didn't know Ceti Alpha VI exploded? I find that hard to believe, considering one of history's biggest criminals was exiled there.

  4. A starship can be brought down using a code? That's a story contrivance if I've ever seen one.

  5. Why did Scotty bring the injured cadet up to the bridge? You'd think he would have told the elevator to go to sick bay.

  6. Spock and Saavik visibly showing emotion over the cadet's death? That's very un-Vulcan of them.

  7. The Genesis Device? This thing can terraform a planet in a matter of days? That's just silly and unscientific.

  8. Why couldn't Scotty or one of the other engineers sacrifice himself and fix the reactor? They didn't know that's where the trouble was?

  9. If the magical Genesis Device needs a moon to work, how did it form a planet out of the nebula? That's some pretty weak writing right there.

  10. Saavik is crying over Spock's death? More un-Vulcan behavior! Did these people even watch the show?

As you can see, this movie is a huge slap in the face to not just the fans, but Gene Roddenberry too. Nicholas Meyer was such an overrated director. His movie, Time After Time, was just dumb and his Sherlock Holmes books were dull as dirt. Can't believe anyone would like this movie. Why didn't the fans stand up and tell Paramount to do the movie right?


smacky said...

The title of this post should be "Why You Should Thank God the Internet Wasn't Around in 1982"


Clinton said...

Well played, sir! I hope everyone gets the humor.

Siskoid said...

Before the Internet, there were fanzines, and I have a memorable article on my shelf somewhere about how ST II shifts Trek's political bias rightward and so is heinous to everything Roddenberry put into it.

It's the 80s, it's Reaganomics, it's the military industrial complex, death of hippie Spock, etc.

2bit said...

i agree, sir, wholeheartedly with all your points, except
1) There is a klingon neutral zone as well. And sure, you could probably google up some strange map of star trek space, but i contend its very difficult to understand who's space is where in that universe.
8) Vulcans have much more strength and endurance than humans, perhaps the radiation would have killed a human much quicker, before the task could be completed? (and if you want to poke holes in the plot, how about that scene? We've got a sealed room with a bucket on a stand. The ONLY way to fix the ship is to go in there, take the bucket out, and put a new one in (basically). I always had problems with the way they fixed the ship in that movie)

Sarahwitch said...

There's a lot more than this, however the main fact is that KHAN WAS NOT A CRIMINAL-- the end of Space Seed shows Kirk dropping all charges, OFFERING Khan the planet, and saying that it waould be a "terrible waste" to put him in a penal colony.
Furthermore: planets don't explode, Starships have ALWAYS been able to destroy all life on a planet, you can't shift the orbit of a planet, and the Genesis device would have bene useless on an unshielded planet.
Furthermore does Starfleet only have one ship? Why woulnd't it be sending more to find out what happened to the Enterprise? And couldn't the Enterprise just send a distress-signal telling what happened?
Finally, sensors and shields would work FINE in a nebula. There were a million things wrong, but mainly it completely screwed the Star Trek premise of depth vs. violence.

Sarahwitch said...

P.S. "Did these people even watch the show?"

No, they didn't. The director said that he never watched a single episode of the original series. That's why the whole movie had no clue about the overall Star Trek premise, i.e. making PEACE not war.

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