So yeah, I lost it. I yelled at the family of tourists as hordes of people began to pile up behind me. Unfortunately when I yelled, "It doesn't take fucking genius to figure this out," everyone else looked at me like I was the asshole. Please. I know all of them were thinking it. Besides, who rides the subway in the morning to make friends?
Anyway, I'm fine now but I'm hoping the following rules will show up in someone's Google search when they (if they) research our fair city's transit system:
- When on the escalator, stand on the right-hand side so people going to work can walk on the left-hand side.
- The tops of the escalators are not appropriate gathering spots for any reason.
- Please keep in mind that this city is a place where people work and are usually on the move. There's a reason why people run toward buses and trains.
- When on the train, follow the conductor's instructions and move toward the center. You'll be allowed off when you choose to leave -- I promise. Come to think of it, this rule applies to many of you regular commuters too.
- If you're carrying ginormous luggage or feel the need to use an SUV-sized stroller, use the elevators during rush hour.